I decided to leave because of many reasons

 If you are one person that are thinking to leave but is unsure still, I hope you can see this post and read it

I was a member for a long time, I started from the bible class, graduate and was another one of them

First things first, I found each class interesting to the point to finish it all and study on my free time. But in the end, at advance level, everything changes. They started to teach revelation and reveal the name of the group. We are Shincheonji,they said.

They mention in intermediate level to do not look online to always maintain ourselves away from it.

I started to notice everything at intermediate level because I did research about this class. Also, as they teach us, that the Devil use many ways to get to us and deceive us. I felt bad at that stage because my innerself create awareness that this group was not right, but, I keep going.

Why, because of that time, intermediate level, there where some common bible topics that where interesting.

As I already can tell my selected classmate was my "leaf", leaf:the assign member of Shincheonji to take care of a new person during basic and intermediate. I share selective topics that I can mention with this person.

When I reach advance I decided to leave, why? Because the topics they touch where most of the time biography of the founder of the group and how everything make a connection.

Like as it was a mean to be moment, everyone got a basic and intermediate information on their minds, so in advanced everything kind of connect with those topics. I feel like since they used bible footer more of the time, I couldn't said that they where saying lies.

But, the information of the founder is given by them and only for them. There is of course the internet but sometimes you feel like everything there is fake. Since they already teach you how the devil works.

Surprisingly, I finish all of the advance class, in the process many of my classmates left in silence, some others make a big statement and left.

They where many that ask me why I keep study, I lie and said that was because of the word, the enlightenment. But to be real reason was because I wanted to know how all this was going to end.

I start to feel that there was no more future on this group, all the topics they could teach me they did. I feel in a middle point to stay or move on at that time.

By I did stay was because it was a routine, I went to the group almost everyday that it was what I did normally. So I dicide to not show up one day to think about life.

That day I realized that internally I was not okay, and that I was pressuring myself to keep going, since at that time, those people where my close circle. So moving on was like going out of my comfort zone.

One day I remember that I spent all day in that group, I did evangelize others in the morning , went to bible class during afternoon, and went to the service at night. But after all that I felt empty, broken, use. I started to cried on silence on my way home.

I notice that after that day this happen many times. I cried before service or after, after a meeting or before going to sleep. But, I keep ignoring it, and keep going on.

Now that I thought about this, was more because that my innerself create an invisible shield. Most of the time I was in the group, I was rebuke by them, was judge, they look at me rare sometimes, and talk about me even when I was in the room, I feel bad but I just smile to them, said that I was okay, that is something that happen everyday. So, knowing that I cried in secret.

The system is over powering for those that are in the top. As many know there is the 144.000. But if you think about it there is already 144.000 more members. In revelation they teach about this and add "and the multitude in white"

So you are in a situation that you need to work hard to be part of this multitude in white.So them, this group has got more than 38 years, many members could have die because of their age or other reason, many members are in Korea and around the world. So in that case, we should be the white multitude.

But, one time I ask a teacher about it, she said with uncertainty that she didn't know what will happen in the end. This is because as they said we can't tell the person heart and intentions.

There is also the four kind of field topic, in this topic they explain that there is 4 kind of people. A. The good soil, B. The rocky field, C. The path, D. The thorny

So, maybe some already know about that so I wont explain again. They said I was a path, they said I was not good enough. I could feel that they didn't care and thought I will left soon, but I did graduate and many where surprised. That's why I said they are hypocrites.

I remember one day in a service, after sermon they talk about a reddit post that expose us, everyone was surprised. So when I was at home I read it by myself, and I realized that many people have the same feeling like me, the same posture like me.

I was surprised, why, because they blind us, they never talk about people that left the group, members that after been members have uncertainty about their beliefs.

One day I feel terrible I couldn't mask it up for them, and show my worries but I was rebuke badly, I feel terrible because I thought I could trust on them that day, but that was their answers and I feel like trash. I feel bad and cry, I feel terrible and went home. Just to keep crying until I arrive home and stop there because I didn't want to enter my house like that.

So with all this I spent some time alone to think about moving on with my life, to finally leave Shincheonji, I feel incomplete because I spent many years there, so leaving was like acknowledge that the time spent was a waste.

At that time the only member I introduced left the group, and with this person also my hope with this group, soon after I left because I didn't want go out and bring more people. That was my stament to move on to let go everything, block everyone and start a new chapter on my life.

I remember I was so scared when I told my family about what happened, I feel like an outcast everyday until I spoke with my family. Their answered was a hug, I cried once again. They were sorry that they didn't know that they could not help me at those times.

Months passed and I realized that I stopped crying randomly, I was happy with myself after a long time. I feel free and transparent.

I hope you could read all this and hope this could help this community.

On Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Shincheonji/comments/iysqzg/i_decided_to_leave_because_of_many_reasons/