How to move forward in a relationship after SCJ?
Hey everyone, I'm looking for advice from anyone who has had a similar experience.
In 2018, I started doing what I thought were harmless bible studies, not knowing they were actually affiliated with SCJ. I was also starting my relationship with my current BF. We're both in our early 20's and this is my first serious relationship, while it's his second one. I told my BF about the bible studies and he was supportive of me doing them. However, the bible studies put a strain on our relationship as I got more involved. I took more time out of my week to do bible studies than I did spending time with my BF. I became more secretive about what I was learning and my whereabouts. Thanks to my teacher (I resent her for this, but it's ultimately my fault), I told my BF that he needed to do the bible study or else our relationship won't work. For the longest time, the pressure for him to change was in the back of both of our heads. It felt as if we were waiting for one of us to give in and call it quits. Luckily, once I learned that SCJ was behind the bible studies, I stopped attending earlier this year and came clean to my BF about everything.
I feel so guilty for putting my BF and us through so much unneccessary stress. I made him feel like he was clinging when it was really just me distancing myself. He wasn't doing anything wrong and yet, I tried to change him as if he was. I'll always be grateful for how incredibly patient he was during my entire time with SCJ. How he didn't decide to leave our relationship back then is beyond me.
He says I shouldn't feel guilty since it's all in the past and that he still wants to be with me even after everything. However, he's admitted that because of how one sided our relationship was during those times, he's been feeling drained. Also, although it's improved slightly, we talked about how there's still a difference between us in terms of the amount of effort being put into our relationship. After a little over a year of being told to not prioritize my personal relationships and commitments, plus my personal inexperience with relationships, I'm still learning how to prioritize, acknowledge, and meet my BF's needs. It's like I'm starting from square one and learning what it means to be in a relationship again.
For anyone who can relate, how have you and your partner moved on? How did you make up for lost time? Since we're both in school, I wanted to work on these things during summer break but it's been hard with all the COVID related restrictions. How do you stop hating yourself? Also, I'm not religious anymore so I'm not looking for any faith related advice.
If you made it to the end, thanks for taking your time to read, I appreciate it.
