SF, CA, USA - My experience with SCJ
Region: San Francisco, CA, USA
Hi everyone, after seeing how so many other people found the strength to share their experience, I would also like to share my experience in Shincheonji (SCJ). This is is a really long post; I hope you will take the time to read this in its entirety.
How I was recruited and recruitment process
I first got “recruited” in late 2018 by a person (whom I will call “M”). “M” stopped me as I was on my way to class and they asked me if I would be interested in watching a “10 minute presentation on religion” , they asked me if I am Christian and I said yes, so I gave them my name and number so I could be contacted for this presentation. “M” messaged me later on and we set up a date to meet with their friend (whom I will call “W”) for the presentation. The meetings were not 10 minutes like they said, more like 30-60 minutes, which irked me but I didn’t say anything to them about the timing. For a few months I took 30-60 minute bible study lessons with them 2x a week. “W” taught while “M” and I listened and took notes. These classes focused on parables about finding God and how God wants us to “reconnect” with Him. “M” would always message me after each class asking for my thoughts on the class. After about 2 months “W” told me that the mini sessions were complete and that if I was interested, her friend (whom I will call “N”) will be teaching a larger bible study course that will last 6-9 months. I told them I would think about it as I wasn’t sure if I would have the time (it would be twice a week,and last at most 2.5 hrs long) since I also have school. They seemed a bit disappointed but told me to let them know if I change my mind. I did let “M” know that I did clear my school schedule but that I do some volunteer work on one of those days that would interfere with the class, “M” told me I have the opportunity to “learn the word” and suggested that volunteer work can be put off for a while. I decided to take the bible study program.
The bible study program began late January 2019, we were told that a theology school was offering these courses for free and we were asked to fill out an application: with our full name, birthdate, email, citizenship status, and to answer a few questions about our faith. Classes met twice a week for an average of 2 hours. The bible study program is divided into three sections: basic, intermediate, and advanced. Basics focuses on figurative language and emphasizes how the Word of God is sealed and it must be revealed in order for anyone to understand it. Intermediate phase is also on figurative language and parables with a particular focus on applying the meanings to certain books in the Bible, like Isaiah and Jeremiah (and a couple others that I can't think of off the top of my head, I do have them written in my notes). Advanced phase focuses on going through the entire book of Revelation, applying the figurative language as we read it, and the teachings always point back to Shincheonji being New Heaven and New Earth and the promised pastor being Lee Man Hee. At the end of each phase you have to take a test to see if you “truly sealed the Word in your heart and in your mind” and to be able to graduate from this program and then “pass over” you take a 100 question test --I didn’t take this test as I was already beginning to have doubts on whether SCJ was God’s promised kingdom and I felt I wasn’t “good enough” since I didn’t believe 100% in their teachings. I did begin to attend their services and Newcomer’s education.
In August 2019, “N” and I set up a meeting and he told me: “Revelation is fulfilling and the end times are happening now, the promised pastor is here.” Keep in mind, it wasn't until about 10 months later that I found out these people and the teachings are from SCJ. They do not openly say they are SCJ, one of the names they go by in SF is Zion Mission Center. I remember I asked “N” a few months prior what church this school and classes were associated with, he told me it’s “a “non-denominational church called Peace Seminary” and gave me the web address (peaceseminary.org)--which did not end up being the “real” church. They believe that it is okay to not be open about being SCJ because if they do tell people they are SCJ, it could “prevent someone from listening to their teachings with an open heart” and by extension “keep someone from obtaining salvation” since they have a bad reputation which could make someone not want to take their classes.
ON "EVANGELISM" AND EMERGENCE OF MY DOUBTS
I went to “evangelize” twice. Both were not the best experiences.This will probably give my identity away to any SCJ members who know me, but here it goes. I did not like how rushed the evangelism was; our goal was to stop as many people as we could, get their numbers and names to then invite them to other classes. What threw me off the first time I went to evangelize (they call it “harvesting”) was that the people I was with lied to potential members (called “prospects”) about their own religion. For example, we met someone who said she’s catholic and the two girls who I evangelized with told her that they’re also catholic, then we met someone who said she used to be catholic and the two girls told her that they used to be catholic as well. The 2nd time I evangelized with someone, he told me that he was a student at another university, I found out a few weeks later that he isn’t even a student at that university.
I remember I expressed to “N” how uncomfortable I felt about the lying during evangelism, that I felt like it was deceiving people. He told me that they have to do that in order to make sure people get the chance to hear the Word. SCJ believes parts of the Bible (such as Genesis 20 & 27 / Exodus 5 / John 7 /1 Corinthians 9) show us that it is okay to lie if it’s to bring someone to salvation. I remember when I read these chapters, they did not tell me that lying was okay . . . and I expressed this to “N” who told me that I was understanding these chapters wrong and that I am using my own thoughts to interpret these scriptures which is not how God wants me to. I asked him why the way I understood these chapters was wrong and he was right and he explained that it was because the interpretation he is telling me is SCJ’s, the Kingdom of God’s interpretation which made it the true one. We went back and forth, and ultimately I relented since we just had stone walled conversations where I was wrong and he was right because his understanding came from SCJ. Little by little I became less and less motivated to be involved in SCJ. I stopped evangelizing after those two experiences. But still, I continued to attend services and Newcomer’s education classes because I was convinced that “my heart was too hard” and that I simply wasn’t understanding God and His Word and that SCJ would help me understand. I was convinced that my thoughts were getting in the way of knowing Him and accepting Him.
JUSTIFIED LYING?
Things got weirder in late November 2019. This is when the Newcomer’s education classes were being taught, basically, these were classes on the culture of SCJ and what kind of work is done there as well as what we’re expected to do. “M”, the person who I had first met in late 2018, gave us a class on evangelism and how we are to manage our prospects. I was taken aback when “M” spoke to us about needing to fill out Prospect Care Forms (PCF). We were to fill these out, without the knowledge of the prospect, and submit them to SCJ. These forms say to “try our best to most casually the following information” on our prospects’: full legal name, birth date, hobbies, address, current church, phone number, email, information on their faith (current denomination, years practicing faith, what they think of God), languages they speak, marital status (because their spouse could “persecute them”), anything we feel may hinder their faith, among other factors. They say these forms are so they could be registered to the months long bible study classes (also called “center”). I asked why we can’t just wait to register them if they tell us they want to take the center class and “M” responded that it’s just to keep everything organized.
“M” then went on to explain that to get what we need for the PCFs in the most casual way, we need to “build trust” with the prospects. “M” said: “for example, “W” and I had to pretend to be students at the university in order to build trust with you all”. I was shocked. This was the first I heard that “M” and “W” were not students at my university. For a little over a year I thought they were students. During our mini lessons (called BB lessons, [prospects take these mini lessons for a bit before they are invited to take the months long bible study classes]) “M”, “W” and I would talk about classes, we’d go into detail about the homework we have, we’d talk about midterms and finals--and then I found out this was all a lie. This really unsettled me as I honestly was so sad to find out that the people I thought I knew had been lying to me. Another aspect of the PCF was to write down what prospects thought about the BB lessons--I made lots of personal connections to the lessons and when “M” would text me asking what I thought about these lessons, I didn’t know she’d be writing what I told her down. Someone asked how we’re supposed to casually get a prospect’s email and another person suggested that “we lie and tell them we want to email them our resume” and that way we’ll get their email, another person asked how to get a persons’ middle name and someone said that we can “start a conversation about funny middle names” then ask them if they have a middle name. It all just seemed so fake to me, so scripted, I felt the friendships I built with these people were lies which made me really reconsider what I was doing taking these classes--was I really doing something God wanted me to do? Was this extent of lying really God's desire?
CONFRONTING "N", CONFUSION, NOT KNOWING WHO TO TRUST
I was angry. When I thought I could still trust in “N” I contacted him and asked him why I am barely finding out about all of this over a year later. I asked him why I was written on without my knowledge and I told him I shared personal things I thought would only stay between “M” and “W” and I and not written down. I also asked him if something I confided in him (something deeply personal only 2 other people know about) was also written down. He assured me that none of that was written down, but I'm not too sure I believe him. He even let it slip that they have group chats where they talk about us to each other. I told him that I felt very deceived and that I do not think all this lying is justified at all. We even met up and I was on the verge of tears for being lied to, I explained how I felt and told him I don't know if the real God's Kingdom would justify so much lying. "N" said I am currently "at a crossroads" where I have to decide to believe in the Word or not. He said that he was sorry that I felt so sad but that "it was necessary" to hide who they were so that I could hear the Word and be saved. I became disillusioned. I would cry often, I didn't know who or what to trust, I thought I was learning God's word but I felt so . . . disappointed, unmotivated, I felt violated.
It’s interesting, when I was first told who they really were back in August 2019, I looked up and read testimonies and saw videos about people saying SCJ is not the Kingdom of God--and I honestly brushed these testimonies off. I thought those people were exaggerating; I thought they just didn’t truly understand SCJ. I thought they were wrong and SCJ was right. My heart was so hard and I was so closed off to those who spoke against SCJ. And now, from Dec 2019--Feb 2020 I just felt so alone. I felt so confused. I doubted everything and felt like a failure. I finally understood what others who left SCJ felt.
FINALLY LEAVING SCJ
In late December 2019, I decided I needed to take a break from SCJ bible study and service and I just focused on praying to God. Over the course of 3 months I asked Him to guide me, I asked Him to forgive me for not being able to accept that SCJ was the Kingdom of Heaven. I asked Him to give me peace, I asked Him to help me understand what He wanted. I even got to the point of reproaching Him, saying that I don't even know what He wants from me. I didn't know what to do, I thought I was doing something right, I thought this was what He wanted me to do. I thought "M" approached me that day in late 2018 because He wanted me to join and be part of SCJ. I didn't know how to know when God was speaking to me, I felt I was just interpreting everything with my thoughts as "N" constantly told me.
Then, in February 2020, God spoke to me. I cannot explain this feeling in words, it was as if my entire soul had been moved and touched; I felt these words down to my bones and I truly feel that I felt His love. This was something I had never felt while being in SCJ. Yes, their teachings are cool, informative, I'll even go as far as to say the teachings are provocative. We're told we'd master the Bible, that we'd get answers to questions we have, that we will be able to explain everything from the Bible, that we would know what God really wanted from us. I felt like I was learning a lot--but to hear and read something that struck me so deeply as when I read Matthew 7:7-8 on that February evening, never. These verses made me realize that I focused so much on just being more knowledgeable on the Bible, I even felt myself get arrogant thinking that I was learning the only true and real Word, I even saw how other members of SCJ acted arrogantly--even calling ex members "stupid" for leaving SCJ. I realized that God does love me. At the end of Feb 2020, God gave me the strength to leave SCJ. I sent a message to "N" telling him I have decided to completely leave SCJ, he replied the next day saying he "wouldn't try to convince me" and I told him I'm not looking to be convinced, that I am at peace with this decision.
03/31 EDIT: I think this feeling of truly being spoken to by God can also be considered the "click" that made me realize I needed to leave SCJ. My experiences and my feelings just kind of came together and I just knew SCJ wasn't all it claims to be.
04/06 EDIT: I want emphasize one more time that making the decision to leave SCJ did not come all of a sudden. My bf was there for me during this time--but I did not like when he would pressure me a lot, I did not like when he would disapprove a lot about them. Sometimes he wanted to give me bible study classes but I didn't want this. I was so disillusioned I didn't feel like arguing with people. I liked when my bf respected me as well as he could. He would always remind me that I should feel fulfilled, that I should feel peace. He always reminded me that God is supposed to comfort us not manipulate or deceive us. I also told him I don't want to talk about SCJ 24/7, I want to discuss other things and he would respect this. I also reached out to two friends who I really respect. These two people have really shown through their words and actions how sincere they are and how much they love God. I reached out to them and told them a bit about SCJ, I mainly asked them if lying is really justified since I was having a difficult time accepting that it was "ok to lie to bring someone to salvation", I didn't want to lie to people. These two people were so respectful and non-judgmental, they took a while to pray and meditate my questions and afterwards, they humbly expressed that lying is not justified and that they believe that SCJ is not doing God's work. They reminded me that God loves me and that He would never want to hurt me. They didn't attack my faith, they didn't call me a betrayer like SCJ, I felt so respected by them. During this time, I was taking a course that explored diff. theories at my university as well, and I feel like taking this class was something that kept me grounded intellectually and encouraged me to think critically about everything which allowed me to continue to question SCJ as well.
SCJ TACTICS--ASIDE FROM LYING
Something SCJ says is that they do not force you to stay and that they do not break up families (they say this because lots of the information against them claims so) however, there’s a ton of mental and emotional control going on--and I'm not too sure that SCJ members are aware. What they most mention throughout lessons is the pattern of betrayal-destruction-salvation as well as the faithful and wise servant (aka, the one who overcomes, the promised pastor, the 2nd coming of Jesus who they believe is Man Hee Lee). I honestly was so scared I was betraying God when my doubts really began to fester, I became so paranoid and I thought I was going to be destroyed and that God would not love me. I think the fear of betrayal and destruction is enough to force someone to stay because they don't want to risk losing their salvation--and I personally considered staying in SCJ for this reason as well.
I also remember during one of the Newcomer's education classes we were told about dating rules within SCJ. They referred to any non SCJ member as "a gentile" and told us that it's not the best idea to date a gentile since they could end up persecuting us. They told us that if we date a SCJ member, we are expected to marry within 6 months because they don't want people to just be having flings within SCJ. We were told that we have to tell our cell leader (there are different positions in SCJ) if we are in a relationship so that they know about any potential issues we may have, we give them our weekly schedules, and we are constantly told to evangelize. This was the only thing I can remember being told during services: we need to evangelize, we are not evangelizing enough, SCJ is the Kingdom of God, Lee Man Hee is the promised pastor. There was even a time where we were yelled at for not evangelizing enough (I know SCJ members [including me at that time] rationalized this yelling as rebuking--as something done out of love).
This is what rubs me the wrong way: SCJ says things indirectly then they deny the consequences of what they teach--they use words and phrases such as "gentiles who can corrupt us" to refer to non members, yet deny pressuring members to break relationships. Even in the PCF notes we were given it tells us to "keep reminding a prospect how the devil can use the closest people to you, to get you away from The Word" if we think "a strict parent" could prevent them from attending class and/or service.
I'd see "N" and other dedicated SCJ members constantly tired and stressed since they spent all their time evangelizing, attending class, going to service, going to meetings. And honestly, it does not surprise me to know that people leave their schools/quit their jobs to invest time in SCJ, they're given so much work to do and they truly believe they are doing God's work and that there is nothing more important than making SCJ teachings known.
I remember that I got along incredibly well with "N" and "M", we'd text and talk a ton . . . and when they became more aware about my doubts, they just stopped talking to me. They cut me off. I remember "M" saw me quite a few times around my university's campus and acted like she didn't see me . . . until I said hi to her. I felt so sad. I knew they've begun to view me as "a betrayer" as someone "who turned away from the word" (as their teachings state) and I felt so alienated to know that the two good friends I made just cut me off so easily and completely.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I know SCJ is recruiting on college/university campuses in California--they're in San Francisco, Sacramento, San Jose, Berkeley. Please be wary of people who come up to you and invite you to a "10 minute presentation" or ask you to answer a quick survey for "a special project". Do not give out your phone number and information to strangers, ask them what church they are from.
Thank you for taking the time to read this incredibly long post, I hope this helps you in some way. You can always message me if you'd like to chat one-on-one. If you want more info. on anything I have written you can message me directly or leave a comment below. I do have more to say about my SCJ experience as well as their teachings and how they are organized, but I will reserve this for another time since this post has gotten so long!
I wish you all peace and happiness. I hope you all find comfort in Him.
God bless you all!
03/31 edit: I added a bit more to the section "Finally Leaving SCJ"
04/06 edit: I added more to "Finally Leaving SCJ" because I had some loved ones there for me. I feel like it was an accumulation of positive experiences and the support of nonjudgmental loved ones that helped me realize that I was strong enough to leave SCJ and that I deserve to be happy and that SCJ is not what it claims to be. And I do truly feel God spoke to me when I read Matthew 7.
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