How has SCJ impacted your life ?
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Hi all, I hope you are all doing well and taking care of yourselves and your loved ones!
I was in SCJ from Nov 2018-Feb 2020. Something SCJ always told us wasthat the testimonies of those who say that SCJ hurt them, broke up their relationships, made them quit their jobs/schooling, etc. are false. SCJ tends to deny the very real impacts it has on people and I wanted to call attention to this.
I wanted to ask former SCJ members what your life has been like after leaving SCJ? I also wanted to ask anyone who has/has had a loved one in SCJ about what kinds of changes they observed in their loved ones and what your relationship with them is like as of now?
When I officially left SCJ, I felt scared, disillusioned, and relieved.
I was scared God would smite me and destroy me (for lack of better words), I was scared I lost a chance at salvation. I still occasionally get afflicted with this feeling of my own impending doom.
I've found that overall I am a lot less trusting of strangers--which is good in some ways but sucks since I do get paranoid a lot more and find it harder to build friendships with new people.
I almost lost my faith in Him and I am truly glad that I did not.
I doubt myself and my decisions a lot more, sometimes I feel that I don't even know what's good for myself after being told so much by SCJ that I couldn't trust my thoughts. I am working on fixing this!
I'm slowly healing and building a stronger and loving relationship with Him.
It is difficult for me to read the Bible without attaching all of their teachings to it. Some of their teachings aren't bad per se, like they tell us the Word heals us (which I agree with), but the more radical teachings that just point to SCJ being the kingdom of heaven and Man Hee Lee being the promised pastor--it does take me lots of effort to read the Bible without thinking about these teachings.
I've been practicing my faith slowly and being patient with myself, for now I am focusing on prayer and reading a few verses.
I am more confident and more firm, I'm not scared about SCJ members viewing me as a betrayer anymore, I don't give in to people who stop me on the street and try to get my information.
I used to feel shameful that I was sucked into SCJ, but I have now realized that I need to be more compassionate towards myself.
I'm reclaiming my identity and recognizing that it's not wrong to pursue a dream job/dream major or invest my time in other things I like. This doesn't mean that I am placing something "above God" as SCJ tells us.
I used to think it would be really easy to distinguish between what's of God and what isn't, and I have realized that this isn't always an easy thing to do. Many people in SCJ are nice . . . but then they also don't mind lying to others. This was something that really confused me and made me realize that people and our surroundings cannot be chopped down to either being "good or bad"--we shouldn't see the world in such a binary way as SCJ encourages us to do. None of us is perfect, we all have aspects of ourselves we need to work on.
Extending on the previous point, I'm a lot more humble than when I was in SCJ. I've come to accept that it's okay to not know everything or have the answer to everything. I know one of the things SCJ says is that if someone cannot explain the entire Bible and its meanings, then they don't know the Bible, they're a "false pastor." I have met sincere and genuine non-SCJ members who really show through their actions and words that they love God and really do make the effort to be like Him. Maybe they cannot provide all the answers to the Book of Revelation, but that doesn't mean that they are bad or "false" people. I've learned to be more compassionate toward others.
The changes my bf of 4.5 years saw in me when I was in SCJ:
I was evasive when questioned about the bible studies
I didn't seem happy
Low self esteem (I already had issues with self esteem that my bf knew of and he said he saw it get worse as I got involved in SCJ)
I came off as thinking I knew more about the Bible than non-SCJ members
I was stressed out more
I talked a lot about "the end times" and not wanting to betray God
I truly have faith in Him that we and our loved ones will be able to heal from the SCJ teachings!
Thank you for reading this post :)
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