Houston, TX, USA - Deceptive and Questionable Tactics used by SCJ
Region: Houston, Texas, USA
Hello I hope everyone is well.
I am an ex-SCJ member from the Houston sect, tribe of Matthias. I was involved with the cult for a little over a year. I was going to make a throwaway account but figured those who come across this from Houston SCJ will know it's me anyway. Especially after already being messaged multiple times to stop posting info about SCJ, I want them to know it's me posting again. So hi there. I refuse to stay silent.
I want to post my testimony but I don't want to go too in depth about the process because it was basically just like everyone else's. You get the drill. 9 month course bible study. Beginner, Intermediate, and Revelation. The truth about SCJ and promised pastor isn't revealed until the instructors think the students are ready to receive it. (AKA, when it seems like they will accept and believe).
Maybe the most saddening and troubling way I was deceived into this cult was through a friend who had already been converted. One day in college, I was finished with class and decided to walk to a coffee shop on campus. I was stopped during my trek by an undercover SCJ member, asking me to answer some survey questions about Christianity for a "project". She was very friendly, as am I, so I was very warm and willing to help out. Then, as I suspected she would, she asked to meet with me and we exchanged numbers. I said yes, but in the back of my head planned to try to find a way out. I texted her later that week that I would not be able to meet after all, gave some excuse. But she was persistent, and I tend to be overly nice and say yes to things I shouldn't (I was extremely vulnerable, especially mental health wise and had been going through a LOT up to this point...)
My plan was to meet with her once, give her my two cents, say thanks and go on my way. However, a few minutes into our meeting, my mutual friend (who I’ve known through college classes, we'll call her Lisa) walked in with another girl. They walked up and pretended to be running into each other.
"Oh my goodness, hey funny seeing you here!"
I was surprised to see "Lisa" there too so I was just like, "Wow, you guys know each other? Because Lisa and I know each other too!" it was too good to be true.
They both sat down with us and funnily enough, they were also working on the same "project". I had a lot of questions about this so called project. Apparently the front was they were working on writing a book to help people understand the Bible. I know I had a lot of questions myself, as someone who had been struggling with depression and anxiety, and had a really bad past/childhood riddled with religious shame. I wanted a new and fresh perspective into spirituality. They asked if I was interested in being a part of it and helping out. I checked in with Lisa who was obviously nodding in agreement with them, so I said yes too. I literally only continued to meet with them because of Lisa.
I started to meet once or twice a week, just talking about the bible. Eventually the woman who was to be my instructor started meeting with us too. I saw so much opportunity, knowing as little as I did about the bible, I pretty much just took her word for a lot of things, they seemed to make sense and I was captivated by her energy. Eventually I attended the classes as well.
Lisa attended these classes with me, and pretended to be learning for the first time with me. The WHOLE time. 9 months of lies. Once I found out the truth, I had already been convinced that this doctrine was true, and have been taught that lying for God's work was righteous. I remember having a conversation with Lisa after I found out, she was scared I'd be upset. Deep down, I won't lie, my gut reaction was uneasy. I felt weird. But thought that was my flesh, and that if it hadn't been like this, I wouldn't have found out the "truth". So I told her I was thankful.
I was deeply convinced of this. I think one thing that really attracted to me was the HWPL front. This idea of trying to spread world peace seemed like the least evil thing anyone would want to do! Everyone wants world peace, especially me. It warmed my heart and for once in my life it seemed attainable. I felt like I was a part of something really big and important. I felt like I understood God because of the way they taught me to understand the Bible.
Because of my deep involvement and dedication, I began to really try to "seal God's word in my heart and mind" and do His will. Evangelism was ALWAYS pushed. Every worship service mentioned its importance, and we would even get "rebuked" by the promised pastor and tribe leaders themselves if our numbers weren't steady. I wanted to help build God's kingdom. But this takes a lot of effort. We have to set goals, and report when we find someone, and get info on them such as their first and last name, age, religion, career/student status, and when we plan to meet them next. We would recruit a lot on college campuses, coffee shops, malls, even online (Bumble friends app was huge).
As a theatre major, I had so many plans for my theatre acting career and had been growing a lot. Once I started the bible study, though, I naturally started to see less importance in what I was studying. Motivation and drive was slowly draining the more involved I was. My instructor would say "school is important, school first, don't drop out because of us, please finish!" and would mention how SCJ is accused of encouraging people to leave families and careers. She would always try to make it clear that wasn't the case. However, the lessons and services would drill into us the importance of putting God first, doing His will first. Having the mind set on the spirit instead of the flesh.
For someone who felt like they had been called by God to make a difference in this world, I wanted to take it as seriously as possible. This idea of being on of the "144,000 sealed priests" of God was very appealing to me. I wanted to be a part of his kingdom, and not have any doubts about where I stood with Him. I hated having to work on school work because it felt like a waste of time. My senior year, I was the least involved as any other year. I stopped going to one of my favorite, most challenging - yet rewarding - movement classes that really helped my physical fitness and acting technique improve immensely. The less I went to these classes, the more weight i gained, the more stressed I was, the more depressed and self destructive I got. The only thing that would make me feel good was doing "God's work".
When I finally graduated, I felt like i could finally dedicate all my time to SCJ. I started to turn down acting roles that I got out of fear of not being able to evangelize or study enough. I didn't even want to do theatre anymore. I stopped it altogether. Got a boring office job to pay the bills, and would evangelize and attend center every day after work. Then on the weekends, church service and more evangelism. I had a routine. And it drained the life out of me.
At the time I was living with my boyfriend of 3 years. He noticed me start to drift away and be less involved as well. We eventually broke up because of this. Once we did, I moved in with one of my cell leaders. Now I was fully cut off from "gentiles" and finally attached to the "tree of life". Shortly after this, my ex boyfriend confronted me about SCJ, he had finally put two and two together and realized what had gotten me. I don't agree with the way he confronted me, but it was honestly the beginning of the wake up call. Especially after noticing that I really wasn't that much happier after this. Really, I was worse off. Depression at an all time high.
This is clearly no way to live. I would stay up late to study, consumed a ton of caffeine to stay up. Even got to the point where I would buy caffeine pills and try to "discipline" myself to run on about 5 hours of sleep or less. I tried to wake up early every day to study the word, pray, post daily motivations on SCJ group chats, etc. I was eventually given the role of assistant cell leader. This caused me to have to go to like 3 late night meetings a week. Not to mention I still had to get up early for work the next day. I told myself I needed to suffer like the martyrs did in the New Testament. I felt so weak and behind all the time, especially seeing others stay up later and work harder than me (instructors, full-time SCJ workers)...
Also, my friend, "Lisa" is still considered my friend, though we never really talk anymore. We were always pretty close so I could probably have the most normal conversation with her other than any other friends I had in SCJ. However, it feels different, there is an air of pain behind our conversations now that really sadden me. All of the friends I made in SCJ never talk to me, although they still follow me on social media and some share kind words, but I don't find them to be very sincere.
I could write on and on... I wanted this to be more organized but turned into a sort of rant... Let me know if you have any further questions about the SCJ way.. I'm glad I got out, and hope this cult can come to an end soon.
edit: I didn't really talk about how I got out. It was very gradual. I struggled a lot with actually leaving because I didn't want to go to hell, be a betrayer, or get my name taken off the "book of life" I slowly started making excuses to get out of center classes, avoided going home a lot. Started hanging out with old friends. Felt happier the more time away I spent. I eventually just basically ghosted everyone and disappeared after i met my new boyfriend. I'm so thankful we fell in love so quickly and he was so willing to help me out. Even though I had actually tried to evangelize him at first haha. Once I came clean to him about being in SCJ he was more than happy to help me stay at his place. I missed a lot of church services, got fired from my office job too (my performance was lacking - I found little importance in it, plus the depression didn't help.) I'm glad I did get fired though, no one could track me down anymore. The woman who had instructed me reached out once, I ignored. So did her husband. Ignored. My friend Lisa was finally sent to me to let me know that if I missed one more church service, I would be taken out of the book of life. I let it happen. The rest is history.
Comments
Post a Comment